How Parents Model Love and Communication to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids

Parents often greatly underestimate how much their kids learn from the emotional tenor of the home they are living in. How you communicate, love, fight, reconcile, and connect becomes the model for your teens and young adult as they go out into the world.

As life coaches for teens, young adults and parents, we see this every single day. Your relationship (whether you are partnered, co-parents or single) is your child’s first classroom for emotional intelligence.

Here’s what we have to share today- everyday interactions of your communication style, your vulnerability, your disagreements and the smallest signs of affection speak to the inner world of your child in ways you may never know.

What you will learn.

1) How kids learn emotional intelligence by watching your communication

2) Why vulnerability creates safety in the home

3) How disagreements can strengthen your child’s confidence

4) Why modeling respect teaches your child how to handle relationships

5) How daily intimacy, not just marital, can build emotional security

6) Practical ways to become more intentional this week

Our experience (why this matters)

We are Erin and Chris- coaches, partners and managed to create a blended family of 4 while running Extraordinary Purpose. We have lived the need for us to communicate in a wise manner, the complexity of conflict and the grandiosity of healing. We know what it is like to blend families, to open our hearts to each other and to trust one another quite slowly.

But frankly- we have seen again and again that

Kids don’t learn from what you say.

They learn from what you live.

Why your style of communication shapes their whole inner world

Your kids are learning an amazing amount of information about tone, language, patterns of emotion and how adults do life by just simply hearing you talk. Your kids those neighbors hearing your conversations through the walled gardens of how you care for one another and the environment of the house you live in. Most parents don’t realize how much their kids are actually listening.

What’s Really Going On

• Teens and young adults are always scanning their environment for:
  • safety
  • belonging
  • emotional stability
  • relational patterns
  • communication cues

If the home feels emotionally open, expressive, and safe, they internalize that.

If communication is rigid, closed, or full of tension, they internalize that too.

What You Can Do Today

• Speak openly about daily life when kids are around
• Let them hear you talk through challenges, not just outcomes
• Use language that’s respectful, grounding, and emotionally aware
• Invite more calm conversations into the home—even 5 minutes helps

Kids model the way you speak long before they model the way you parent.

The Power of Being Open About “Taboo” Topics

For generations, families avoided talking about money, emotions, intimacy, or difficult feelings. But silence creates shame. Today’s teens need the opposite.

What’s Really Going On

• Kids feel safest when they:
• Understand the emotional landscape of the home
• See their parents handling life with honesty
• Recognize that emotions aren’t dangerous
• Realize conversations—even tough ones—aren’t “off limits”

When Erin’s son River overheard a conversation about revenue in the business, he wasn’t confused…

• He was inspired.
• He understood his parents’ hard work.
• He understood their goals.
• He felt proud—and connected.

What You Can Do?

• Talk about money in age-appropriate ways
• Share your feelings without oversharing
• Explain tough seasons calmly instead of hiding them
• Show your kids what openness really looks like

Your kids don’t need perfection.

They just need honesty.

Why Disagreements Are Healthy—When Modeled Well

Your kids do not need you to be a perfect couple. They need to see healthy repair. When parents disagree respectfully, communicate openly, and reconnect after conflict, kids learn:

“It’s safe to have different perspectives.”

“It’s safe to disagree.”

“Love isn’t fragile.”

What’s Really Going On

Most children only ever see arguments behind closed doors or parents pretending nothing is wrong. Both extremes create emotional confusion.

What You Can Do Today

• Let kids witness small disagreements.
• Never weaponize silence—show repair.
• Check in with yourself before reacting. Return to calm communication. Verbally acknowledge when you’ve found common ground.

Kids don’t need a conflict-free home. They need a repair-rich home. Modeling Respect—Even When You Disagree

Respect is one of the top values young adults need to succeed in relationships, work, and life. And the fastest way they learn it? Watching how you treat each other. What’s Really Going On

Kids internalize how you listen, how you speak during stress, whether you dismiss or minimize each other, how you handle differences in opinion. If they witness respect between adults, they naturally adopt it. If they see sarcasm, dominance, avoidance, or emotional shutdown, they adopt that too.

What You Can Model

“I hear you.”

“Help me understand your perspective.”

“Let’s find our way back to each other.”

“We may not agree, but I respect you.”

“We’re on the same team.”

Kids who grow up seeing respect rarely settle for relationships without it. Modeling Vulnerability Creates Emotionally Open Kids

Vulnerability is not weakness.

It’s a roadmap.

When you talk about your feelings, personal challenges, hopes, fears, or dreams, you give your kid the emotional literacy school can’t provide.

What’s Really Going On

When a parent is emotionally open, kids learn:

• emotional awareness
• self-expression
• self-acceptance
• empathy
• confidence

When a parent is closed off, kids often:

• suppress emotions
• fear vulnerability
• avoid emotional conversations
• struggle with emotional regulation

What You Can Do Today

Share (in brief) what’s on your mind

Talk about your past in a way that provides context, not burden

Say “I’m working on this too”

Allow your feelings to be seen, not hidden

Your vulnerability becomes their safety.

Daily Intimacy: The Small Moments That Shape Everything

Intimacy isn’t just physical.

It’s closeness. It’s connection. It’s presence.

And kids feel the difference immediately.

Daily intimacy looks like:

• hugging your partner in front of your kids
• sitting close at dinner
• dancing in the kitchen
• cuddling on the couch
• slowing down before entering the room
• asking each other how the day felt

When kids see closeness, they internalize security. What You Can Do:

Slow down when you enter the home

Give your kiddo a hug every day

Share a moment of laughter

Let your kids see warmth, affection and connection

These moments create the bank of emotional memories they’ll draw from forever.

Action Steps: How to be more intentional THIS week:

Here are simple ways to infuse more emotional modeling into your home this week:

• An open conversation in front of your kids
• Something real—future plans, money, life decisions. Let them be a witness.
• One disagreement (and repair!) in front of your kids

You can model calm communication and clever repair.

A daily intimacy ritual with your kids

A hug, a shared meal, a 5-minute check-in. Nothing HUGE that takes forever, it can be simple and small.

Share a personal truth or story with your kids

Vulnerability builds connection! modeling

Slow down before walking through the door

Bring your presence. Your kids feel it when you are fully present.

Journal what you want to be more intentional about in the coming week

(You could do this on Sunday!)

Final Thoughts

You do not have to be perfect.

You just have to be intentional.

Every conversation, every pause before reacting, every hug, every, “I’m sorry I lost my patience,”

choosing to be present right now is a seed planted into your child’s emotional foundation.

If you want your teenager and young adult to grow into people who are confident, emotionally aware, respectful, kind, expressive and grounded in their truth…

You create the world you want your child to live in, right now!

Small shifts today are HUGE shifts tomorrow.

Do you want parents to grow closer, your kids to communicate better, your family grow a closer bond to strengthen the model of emotional resilience together?