Podcast: The Extraordinary Purpose Podcast
Episode Title: How to Help Your Teen or Young Adult Find Real Motivation, Confidence, and Purpose
Hosts: Erin Verdis & Chris
[Intro]
Welcome to The Extraordinary Purpose Podcast, where we explore the difficult questions and challenges that parents and families face every day.
Whether it’s the sometimes painful process of parenting teens and young adults, navigating relationships with your partner and children, or discovering your own purpose, we bring heartfelt, vulnerable conversations to support and empower you.
Our mission is to help you create a lifestyle filled with love, passion, adventure, and influence.
Here we go.
[Chris]
And we're back with another Extraordinary Purpose Podcast. How you doing today?
I'm Chris, and sitting directly to my right — the striking and magnetic — Erin Verdis.
[Erin]
Hi everyone! How’s it going? Three weeks till Christmas… oh my goodness.
[Chris]
Four weeks!
[Erin]
Close enough. Don’t rush it!
[Chris]
We’re glad you’re here with us today.
Masterclass Announcement
[Chris]
We want to start today with something exciting happening next week: our FREE masterclass for parents of teens and young adults.
[Erin]
Yes! It’s happening Thursday, December 11th at 7 PM EST. Parents, mark your calendars.
This is something we only do twice a year, and it’s big — because we’re helping you finish the year strong and prepare your family culture for 2026.
[Chris]
This masterclass is all about how to cultivate a motivating, connected, empowered family culture. A family that feels grounded, purpose-driven, and close.
[Erin]
We’re also speaking directly to YOU, the parent. You’ll learn how to reconnect with yourself — your purpose, your passions, your identity. Because we’re only as good for our kids as we are to ourselves.
[Chris]
The sign-up link is in the show notes and on our website:
myextraordinarypurpose.com
Don’t wait. This is a not-to-miss event.
Today’s Topic: Understanding Teen and Young Adult Motivation
[Chris]
Today’s episode is directly connected to what we’re teaching in the masterclass. We keep hearing two statements from parents:
1. “My child is totally unmotivated.”
2. “My kid is just lazy.”
[Erin]
And after years of coaching thousands of teens and young adults, we know this:
Kids are not inherently lazy.
They may be overwhelmed.
They may be scared.
They may not know who they are yet.
What looks like “no motivation” is usually shutdown, fear, or confusion.
Fear, Overwhelm, and the Hidden Barriers to Motivation
[Erin]
A personal example: my son River is applying to college. I kept reminding him to send me his essay and meet with his counselor.
Then it hit me — he wasn’t procrastinating because he didn’t care.
He was scared.
Scared of rejection.
Scared of what comes next.
Scared of stepping into the unknown.
[Chris]
Exactly. Teens and young adults face massive overwhelm — school, career choices, friends, relationships, the future. When they don’t know who they are, everything feels heavier.
Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation
[Erin]
External motivation — praise, rewards, pleasing others — works for a while. But when kids hit older adolescence or their early twenties, it stops working.
Intrinsic motivation is different. It comes from:
- Knowing who you are
- Understanding your values
- Feeling connected to passions and strengths
- Having a vision for your future
- Feeling empowered and confident
That’s when teens and young adults come to life.
[Chris]
When they know who they are, they make better decisions, stay focused, surround themselves with healthier peers, and get motivated.
Identity leads to direction.
Direction leads to purpose.
Purpose leads to motivation.
Helping Teens Discover Their “Why”
[Chris]
One of the most powerful tools parents can introduce is the question:
“Why is this important to me?”
Not “Why does mom or dad want me to do this?”
Not “Why should I?”
But their why.
- Why do I want to go to school today?
- Why do I want to apply to this college?
- Why do I want to improve this class?
- Why do I want better friendships?
This shifts their motivation from external pressure to internal ownership.
[Erin]
And sometimes their “why” reveals they don’t have a meaningful reason. That’s a chance to explore deeper, not to criticize.
Distractions, Mental Noise, and Emotional Overload
[Erin]
Kids today are more distracted than ever. Yes — phones, social media, and friends play a role. But the biggest distraction is:
Their own thoughts.
Internal noise.
Self-doubt.
Fear.
Comparison.
Negative self-talk.
They rarely slow down long enough to understand what’s happening inside.
In our coaching course, Week 1 is devoted entirely to helping them reconnect with their inner world.
Creating Sacred Space for Reflection
[Erin]
We teach rituals like:
- Sacred Spaces (20–30 minutes of uninterrupted reflection)
- Intentional nature walks
- Journaling
- Quiet thinking time
Kids don’t daydream anymore. They don’t reflect. These rituals reconnect them to themselves.
[Chris]
Reflection + curiosity = self-knowledge.
Self-knowledge = motivation.
Curiosity: The Doorway to Motivation and Purpose
[Erin]
Curiosity is a practice. It’s intentionally creating time and space to ask:
- What am I feeling?
- What am I drawn to?
- What interests me?
- What am I good at?
- What am I afraid of?
[Chris]
Everyone has sparks — ideas, passions, interests — but most never do anything with them because life is nonstop distraction.
You have to bring those sparks out into the world. When teens do that, everything changes.
What Parents Can Do Differently
[Erin]
Parents, here’s where you can help:
- Reduce lecturing and over-reminding
- Ask curiosity-based questions
- Create better environments for connection
- Go on drives, brunches, walks — anywhere away from phones
- Help them reflect, not react
- Encourage exploration, not perfection
- Allow mistakes, growth, and independence
[Chris]
The wrong environment shuts teens down.
The right environment opens them up.
Get them moving.
Get them outside.
Get them off their devices.
Get them into deeper conversations.
Why Mentorship Matters
[Erin]
Kids need mentors outside their parents — coaches, guides, people who can help them open up in ways they can’t at home.
[Chris]
Parents, you’re incredible. But your teen needs additional voices during this season of their life. That’s where our coaching process comes in.
Final Message for Parents
[Erin]
Your child is not lazy. They’re not unmotivated. They’re likely scared, overwhelmed, or unsure who they are.
[Chris]
But they want to make you proud.
They want to feel confident.
They want to succeed.
They just need help discovering themselves — and you need support too.
FREE Masterclass Reminder
[Chris]
Don’t forget to register for our FREE masterclass on December 11th:
Create a Calm, Connected & Motivating Family Culture for 2026
7 PM EST • Live on Zoom • Replay included
This is one of the most transformational experiences we offer.
[Outro]
We are so thankful for you and your beautiful family. We hope today’s episode brought you hope, inspiration, and—most importantly—a path forward.
If you’re ready to evolve your relationship with your teen or young adult, or if you’re a mom wanting to rediscover your confidence and purpose, schedule a discovery call with us today.
Our mission is to help as many families as possible find their purpose — and that starts with you.
See you in the next episode, friends.
