As parents of teens and young adults, we all want the same thing: to see our kids grow into confident, motivated, purposeful adults. We want that so bad that many times it feels like we want it more for them than they do. And so often, we fall into the trap of lecturing, nagging, or trying to control them out of fear or frustration. The truth? The most powerful influence you have isn’t in what you say—it’s in how you live.

At Extraordinary Purpose, we believe parenting is less about telling our kids what to do and more about showing them through our example. That’s what we dove deep into on the latest episode of the Extraordinary Purpose Podcast. Today, we want to give you five practical ways to influence your teen or young adult without lecturing—and why these simple shifts can transform your family.

•  Model Self-Care in Front of Your Kids

Your teen may roll their eyes when you suggest journaling, going for a walk, or taking a break from screens. But when they see you actually doing it? That speaks volumes.

• Let them walk in on you journaling in the morning.

• Invite them on a walk instead of telling them to “go outside.”

• Share how exercise, meditation, or quiet time makes you feel better.

Action step for this week: Choose one ritual that makes you feel grounded and consistent (exercise, prayer, journaling, nature walks) and practice it daily. Let your teen see you do it—no lecturing required.

• Show Them Emotional Regulation

Parenting teens can be triggering. They push boundaries, slam doors, and sometimes say things that hurt. You won’t always get it perfect—but how you recover matters.

• Pause and breathe before responding.

• Take a walk to cool down instead of escalating.

• If you blow up, own it and apologize later.

When you model resilience and humility, you show your teen it’s okay to feel big emotions—and it’s possible to bounce back.

Action step for this week: Notice one moment where you get triggered. Instead of reacting, name what’s happening and step away. Then return and share how you reset.

• Share Your Passions and Purpose

Your child longs to see you alive, inspired, and connected to something bigger than yourself. When you talk about your dreams, passions, and purpose, you awaken theirs.

• Share a new book you’re reading.

• Tell them about a hobby you’re trying.

• Talk openly about your goals and what gives your life meaning.

When you live with purpose, you light the path for them to discover their own.

Action step for this week: Tell your teen one thing you’re working on for yourself—whether it’s a health goal, a creative project, or a dream you’ve been chasing.

• Practice Patience—Parenting Is a Long Game

We often want change now. We want our kids to be more confident, focused, or motivated—yesterday. But influence isn’t about instant results. It’s about the small, consistent choices you make every day.

• Keep showing up with love and consistency, even when they resist.

• Remember that the seeds you plant now often bloom later.

• Trust the process—you’re building lifelong impact, not quick fixes.

Action step for this week: Focus on progress, not perfection. Celebrate one small win with your teen, even if it seems minor.

• Cultivate Curiosity Together

Curiosity is one of the most underrated parenting tools. Encourage your teen to try new things—not by telling them what to do, but by living curiously yourself.

• Take a class.

• Try a new recipe.

• Explore a new place together.

When your teen sees you taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone, they’ll feel empowered to do the same.

Action step for this week: Invite your teen to join you in something new—a cooking class, a nature trail, or even a podcast episode you’re listening to.

Final Thoughts

Influencing your teen or young adult isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. They don’t need you to have all the answers. They need to see you living as your best self, working through challenges, and staying curious about life. That’s what leaves a lasting legacy.

We talk more deeply about this on the Extraordinary Purpose Podcast —where every episode is our gift to parents and families like yours. 🎧 Subscribe today to support us and to be the first to hear new episodes each week.

Listen here on Apple Podcasts

Listen here on Spotify 

And if you’re ready for hands-on support to help your teen or young adult grow in confidence, motivation, and purpose, we’d love to meet you. Schedule a free Discovery Call with Erin and Chris  and take the first step toward a brighter future for your family.

You don’t have to do this alone—we’re here to walk with you.

 With Love, 

Erin and Chris 

Founders of Extraordinary Purpose Life Coaching for Teens, Young Adults, and Parents