Phones Down, Life Up: Helping Teens & Young Adults Reconnect
If you’re a parent of a teen or young adult, chances are you’ve had this thought:
“They’re always on their phone.”
Whether it’s scrolling TikTok, gaming with friends, or Snapchat streaks, it can feel like the world in their pocket is bigger and louder than the one right in front of them. And as parents, it’s heartbreaking to feel like we’re losing our kids to a screen.
But here’s what we’ve seen again and again — both in our own home as parents of four, and through years of coaching teens and young adults: when kids step back from technology, something powerful happens.
They don’t just “use their phone less.”
They reconnect with themselves. They rediscover their creativity, their personality, and the people who love them most.
What We’ve Seen in Our Own Family
We’ve lived this too. A couple of years ago, we noticed our own kids staying up later and later on their devices. Mornings were groggy, energy was low, and conversations got shorter. Erin remembers saying one morning, “I feel like I’m only getting half of you.”
So we decided to try something simple: phones off and in the kitchen at 9:00 pm.
At first, there were groans and eye rolls. But within a week, something shifted. We started having bedtime chats again. Our kids were sleeping better. And one night, one of our daughters told us, “I forgot how much I liked falling asleep with my own thoughts.”
That was a turning point.
Stories from Coaching Families
In our coaching, we see the same thing all the time.
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A mom told us her 16-year-old daughter, who struggled with anxiety and constant comparison on Instagram, found peace when she replaced scrolling with journaling before bed. “She’s calmer, more herself again,” the mom shared.
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A dad and son were butting heads over gaming. Instead of fighting the screen, the dad asked to join him for 30 minutes. That night, laughter filled the living room — and it opened the door for bigger conversations about balance and responsibility.
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One young adult client admitted, “I didn’t realize how much my phone was numbing me.” Once he started leaving his phone in the other room during homework, his grades improved and — even more importantly — his confidence came back.
Why It Matters
When our teens and young adults create boundaries with technology, we see real outcomes:
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Deeper family connection. Conversations grow when phones are put away.
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More focus and motivation. Without constant notifications, attention shifts back to goals, hobbies, and school.
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Improved mental health. Less comparison and stimulation = more calm.
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The return of their true personality. Parents often tell us, “I feel like I got my kid back.”
Technology isn’t the enemy. But without guidance, it can steal the very things that make our kids who they are.
3 Small Steps to Try This Week
If you’re ready to make a change, here are three simple steps:
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Create a phone bedtime. Pick a family charging station and have everyone (yes, parents too) plug in by a certain time.
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Replace screen time with something small but meaningful. A walk, a card game, or even sketching. Consistency is key.
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Join their world. Instead of only limiting, try connecting through their tech — watch a video together or ask them to share what they love.
Keep Going
You don’t have to figure this out alone. At Extraordinary Purpose, we help teens, young adults, and parents create the kind of balance that leads to more connection, confidence, and clarity. If you want more support, book a free discovery call with us.
You may also find these blogs on our site helpful:
And here are a few other resources we trust:
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Common Sense Media — great tools for families to set tech boundaries.
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Screenagers — research and practical steps on navigating screens with kids.
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The Family Dinner Project — simple ideas for reclaiming family mealtime connection.
At the end of the day, what our kids want most isn’t their phone. It’s connection. It’s being seen. It’s knowing they belong.
Let’s give them that.
With you,
Erin & Chris
Extraordinary Purpose Coaching
Learn More About Our Revolutionary Coaching Program for Teens & Young Adults!
