Helping Your Kids Find Their Own Path: Letting Go So They Can Grow

How to Authentically Guide Your Young Adult—And Learning About Yourself Along the Way
From Erin & Chris of the Extraordinary Purpose Podcast

Hey Friends!

We just got back from a road trip to North Carolina—sun, lake, family time, and some much-needed nature. It was one of those “fill your soul” kind of weekends. You know the ones. And it reminded us just how powerful it is to step out of your normal routine and into an environment that inspires you. Whether that’s walking your dog (seven times a day like we do!), sitting by the water, or watching your kids flourish in their own unique ways.

As life coaches, we’re constantly reminded that the best guidance we offer isn’t from having all the answers—it’s from showing up authentically, being real about our own journey, and walking just a little ahead so we can hold out a light for others.

That’s what this post is about: how to really show up for your kids—especially your young adult—without falling into the trap of control or projection. And how sharing your own stories, curiosities, and dreams can become the most powerful tool for connection and growth.

You Don’t Need to Be Perfect—Just Honest

Let’s start here: If you’ve ever wondered, “Who am I to help my child figure all this out when I’m still figuring things out myself?”—we feel you. We’ve been there too. And here’s the truth we’ve come to learn: You don’t need to be the expert. You just need to be a guide.

When you embrace your own imperfections, your kids will learn that being human isn’t something to hide—it’s something to embrace.

Intrinsic Motivation Comes From Within—Not From Us

We all want our kids to be motivated, passionate, and confident. But here’s the hard truth: we can’t force motivation. We can’t make them want it. External pressure—grades, awards, impressing mom and dad—only goes so far. Real change, real drive, comes from within.

And what lights that inner fire?

• Curiosity. Help them get curious about their interests, passions, and values. Find coaches or mentors that can be catalysts for exploration and self-discovery. 

• Autonomy. Let them choose their path—even if it’s not the one you envisioned. Helping them find their own authentic voice and giving them safe space to project it and share their own vision for their lives, this creates trust and deep connection. 

• Authenticity. Share your own stories. Let them see you growing and learning too. Showing your kids the human behind the parent by being vulnerable and transparent, helps them feel understood and closer to you on soul level. 

Sacred Spaces Lead to Deeper Conversations

Think about a moment when your child truly opened up to you. Was it at the dinner table? Probably not. More likely, it was during a car ride, a walk, or while doing something together. That’s what we call a sacred space—an intentional moment where connection naturally deepens.

This week, create one.

Take a walk. Grab a coffee. Go for a drive. And then, instead of lecturing or fixing, tell a story. Share something about your own journey—your mistakes, your fears, your dreams, your wins. Not with an agenda, but with a willingness to connect.

Our Kids Learn the Most When We Model Growth

We’ve seen this time and time again in our coaching program and in our own families. When we as parents pursue our goals, reflect on our past, and stay open to growth, our kids see it. And they mirror it.

Chris’s son, Ben, found his path into journalism not because Chris told him what to do—but because they shared countless hours listening to music, watching movies, and talking. It was sacred space. It was authentic connection. And it sparked something in Ben that now drives his future.

Erin’s son, River, recently chose to step away from basketball after eleven years of playing consistently. That wasn’t easy for her to watch. But it was his choice. And it led to a new chapter where he’s now exploring sports management and developing a new vision for himself—all because Erin stepped back and trusted his process.

This Week’s Challenge for You:

We want to leave you with a simple challenge—because the magic is in the doing.

✅ Create sacred space with your child this week - ignite a heartfelt conversation that doesn't include anything about school, grades, screentime, jobs, etc. 
✅ Share one honest story from your own life and let them ask questions be curious
✅ Ask them about their passions and interests—and truly listen
✅ Reflect before you react
✅ Compliment them—then let it land without a “fix” attached

Your kids don’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one. And if you’re reading this? You’re already on the right path:)

With Love & Gratitude
Erin & Chris xoxo