EXTRAORDINARY PURPOSE PODCAST
Episode Transcript
Episode Title: How to Evolve Your Relationship with Your Teen or Young Adult
Hosts: Erin Verdis & Chris Adang
Podcast: The Extraordinary Purpose Podcast
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INTRODUCTION
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Erin:
There is an evolution that happens for us as parents — almost like a metamorphosis. In many ways it’s a grieving process. We don’t talk about this enough in our culture. But letting go of the little child we once knew and accepting that they are becoming adolescents and young adults with minds of their own can be incredibly emotional.
Chris:
They’re turning into adults. And that’s not easy for us as parents.
Welcome to The Extraordinary Purpose Podcast — where we explore the difficult questions and real-life challenges that parents and families face every day.
Whether it's navigating the sometimes painful process of parenting teens and young adults, strengthening relationships with your partner and children, or rediscovering your own purpose, we bring heartfelt and honest conversations to the table.
Our mission is simple:
To help families create lives filled with love, passion, adventure, and influence.
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EPISODE CONVERSATION
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Chris:
And we're back. Erin, can you believe it?
Erin:
I can't believe it.
Chris:
This week has actually been pretty special for us. It’s finally starting to warm up a little here in Michigan.
Erin:
We had a random 75-degree day yesterday, which felt amazing. But let’s be realistic — it’s March in Michigan.
Chris:
That’s true. We took the dog out for what felt like twenty walks yesterday.
Erin:
The luckiest dog in the world.
Chris:
It really made us notice how powerful something simple like sunshine and fresh air can be.
Erin:
We haven’t taken a winter vacation yet this year, which is unusual for us, but we’ve been busy working on some exciting things — including relaunching our Extraordinary Parent Coaching Program.
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WHERE OUR PODCAST IDEAS COME FROM
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Chris:
One of the things Erin and I do every week is sit down and talk about the conversations we've been having with parents.
Erin:
Yes. Whether it's a coaching call or a discovery conversation with a parent, those insights often become the inspiration for what we talk about here on the podcast.
Chris:
And today’s topic comes up constantly in those conversations: how parents can evolve their relationship with their teen or young adult.
Because what many parents don’t realize is that the evolution of that relationship often has to start with themselves.
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THE TRANSITION PARENTS EXPERIENCE
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Erin:
When you pause and think about it, something significant happens when our kids go from being little children to teenagers.
Around ages 13, 14, and 15, things begin to shift.
There is an emotional transition happening for parents too.
You are letting go of the little child and accepting that they are becoming independent thinkers with opinions of their own.
Chris:
And then there is another major shift when they move from high school into young adulthood — college, work, or trying to figure out life.
That phase can feel even more confusing for parents.
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THE BIG REFRAME
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Chris:
This is where we introduce what we call “The Big Reframe.”
Many traditional parenting approaches focus on controlling outcomes.
Parents try to:
- Control behavior
- Push their kids toward certain paths
- Rescue them from mistakes
- Over-manage their lives
But after years of coaching young adults and parents, we’ve realized something powerful:
Two things must evolve for the relationship to evolve.
1. The parent
2. The environment of the family
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EVOLVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF
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Erin:
The first step is helping parents reconnect with themselves.
Many parents lose themselves during the teenage and young adult years because they become so focused on their child’s success or happiness.
Chris:
Which is understandable.
But when parents are constantly living in worry, fear, or frustration, that energy shows up in the relationship.
When you begin taking care of yourself again — your mindset, your passions, and your well-being — everything begins to shift.
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THE POWER OF THE CHECK-IN
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Chris:
One of the simplest tools we teach parents is something called a “check-in.”
It’s a practice of slowing down and grounding yourself by asking:
How am I feeling right now?
What energy am I bringing into this moment?
How do I want to show up?
This simple reset can completely change the tone of a conversation.
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PILLAR ONE: SLOW DOWN AND RECONNECT
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Erin:
The first pillar of our work with parents is learning how to slow down.
This includes:
- Pausing during stressful moments
- Checking in with yourself emotionally
- Reconnecting with your identity outside of parenting
Many parents realize they haven’t asked themselves questions like:
What do I love?
What excites me?
What do I want for my life?
Rediscovering those answers can be incredibly powerful.
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PILLAR TWO: PURPOSEFUL PARENTING
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Chris:
Once parents reconnect with themselves, they can begin approaching their children differently.
Instead of controlling or correcting, they lead with curiosity and connection.
Erin:
Curiosity is powerful.
Instead of reacting or judging, parents can ask questions and genuinely listen.
That alone can lower a young adult’s defenses almost immediately.
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PILLAR THREE: FAMILY CULTURE
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Chris:
The third pillar is creating a powerful family culture.
This is where everything begins to come together.
Instead of reacting to chaos or stress, families intentionally create environments that support connection and growth.
Erin:
One simple ritual we love is the Evening Check-In.
At the end of each day, family members can reflect on:
- What went well today
- What they learned
- What they’re grateful for
These small rituals can have a powerful impact over time.
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THE EXTRAORDINARY PARENT COACHING PROGRAM
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Chris:
Our Extraordinary Parent Coaching Program brings these ideas together.
Erin works with the moms and young women we coach.
I work with the dads and young men.
And when couples join together, we coach them as a team.
Erin:
The program includes:
- Weekly coaching sessions
- An 8‑week parent course
- Practical exercises and rituals
- Tools for communication, confidence, and leadership
Chris:
Our goal is to help parents evolve into confident leaders of their families.
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VISUALIZATION EXERCISE
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Erin:
Before we wrap up, take a moment to imagine something.
Take a deep breath.
Picture your relationship with your teen or young adult one or two years from now.
Ask yourself:
What would the healthiest version of that relationship look like?
What kind of conversations would you be having?
How would it feel to experience more connection and ease?
Now ask yourself one more important question:
Who do you need to become in order to create that relationship?
That’s where the real transformation begins.
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CLOSING
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Chris:
Thank you for joining us for another episode of The Extraordinary Purpose Podcast.
If today’s conversation resonated with you and you’d like support evolving your relationship with your teen or young adult, we invite you to schedule a discovery call with us.
Our mission is to help families find deeper connection, confidence, and purpose.
And that begins with you.
Erin:
Thanks so much for listening. We'll see you next time.
