How to Trust Yourself as a Parent (Teens & Young Adults)
Are you holding yourself back as a parent of a teen or young adult?
Here’s why it’s so hard to trust your intuition—and how to finally follow through.
Welcome to the Extraordinary Purpose Podcast, where we explore the real challenges parents of teens and young adults face—and how to navigate them with confidence, clarity, and connection.
In today’s episode, we’re talking about something that impacts almost every parent:
The hardest part of parenting isn’t your child…
It’s learning to trust yourself.
INTRODUCTION
Chris: Welcome back to another episode. Today’s topic is something every parent experiences—often daily—and it doesn’t feel good.
Erin: When we think about the hardest part of parenting teens and young adults, we usually think it’s them—their behavior, their attitude, their resistance.
But the truth is… it’s not them. It’s us.
It’s how often we second-guess ourselves, hold ourselves back, and don’t follow through on what we know is right.
WHY PARENTS HOLD THEMSELVES BACK
Chris: Let’s talk about how this feels—because it matters.
It feels frustrating.
It feels exhausting.
And it feels like you’re not showing up the way you want to.
Erin: I’ve really noticed this in my own parenting—how much I second-guess myself.
And it shows up in subtle ways:
• Hesitating
• Overthinking
• Not following through
And every time we do that, we’re actually abandoning our own intuition.
REAL-LIFE EXAMPLE: SOCIAL MEDIA BOUNDARIES
Erin: I recently made the decision to take Snapchat and TikTok away from my daughter.
And here’s the truth—I had been feeling that this was the right decision for months.
But I kept holding myself back.
Why?
• Guilt
• Fear of upsetting her
• Worry about her missing out
And eventually I realized:
This isn’t about her… this is about me not trusting myself.
So I made the decision.
And what changed wasn’t just her behavior—it was my energy.
When I became clear, grounded, and confident…
She stopped pushing back.
CONTROL VS. LEADERSHIP IN PARENTING
Chris: There’s a huge distinction here that changes everything:
Control vs. Leadership.
Control is:
• Reactive
• Emotional
• Inconsistent
• Rooted in fear
Leadership is:
• Calm
• Grounded
• Values-based
• Clear and consistent
When you lead, your child may not always agree…
But they will respect you.
And respect creates long-term connection.
WHY FEAR KEEPS PARENTS STUCK
Chris: The reason we don’t trust ourselves comes down to fear:
• Fear of damaging the relationship
• Fear of being disliked
• Fear of conflict
But avoiding those moments actually creates more distance—not less.
And your child still needs you.
In fact, they need you most in the moments they push back the hardest.
THE TWO CHOICES IN HARD MOMENTS
Chris: In every difficult parenting moment, you have two choices:
1. React emotionally
• Get triggered
• Say things you don’t mean
• Lose control of the situation
2. Lead with intention
• Stay grounded
• Slow down
• Respond from your values
That second version of you—the calm, confident, grounded parent—
That’s the version your child needs.
WHERE THIS SHOWS UP MOST
Erin: We see this come up in three major areas:
1. Phones and social media
2. Structure and daily habits
3. Family culture
If you’re not clear in these areas, your child will take control by default.
And that creates more tension over time.
THE POWER OF FAMILY CULTURE
Chris: Family culture is simply what you allow consistently.
• Do you eat dinner together?
• Do you spend time connecting?
• Are devices always present?
These small patterns shape your entire home environment.
And when you shift them—even if there’s resistance at first—
Everything begins to change.
SIMPLE TOOLS TO START TODAY
Erin: Here are a few simple tools you can start using right away:
1. The Pause Practice
Take 3 deep breaths before responding
2. The Values Filter
Ask yourself: “Who do I want to be in this moment?”
3. The 24-Hour Rule
Step away from emotional conversations and come back grounded
4. Lead with Vulnerability + Boundaries
“This is hard for me, but I know it’s what’s best.”
FINAL MESSAGE
Chris: You don’t need to be perfect.
But your child does need you to:
• Trust yourself
• Follow through
• Lead with confidence
Erin: Because when you change how you show up…
Everything changes.
OUTRO
Thank you so much for being here.
If this episode resonated with you and you’re ready to take the next step in becoming a more confident, empowered parent:
Visit:
https://www.myextraordinarypurpose.com/coaching-philosophy
Explore our Parent Coaching Program:
https://www.myextraordinarypurpose.com/life-coaching-for-parents
Support your teen or young adult:
https://www.myextraordinarypurpose.com/young-adult-coaching
Schedule a discovery call:
https://calendly.com/extraordinarypurpose/young-adult-discovery-call
We’ll see you in the next episode.
