EXTRAORDINARY PURPOSE PODCAST
EPISODE TITLE
Why Meaningful Experiences Matter More Than Advice for Teens and Young Adults
PRIMARY SEO KEYWORDS
Life Coaching for Teens
Life Coaching for Young Adults
Teen Confidence
Young Adult Confidence
Teen Motivation
Young Adult Purpose
Parenting Teens
Parenting Young Adults
Family Connection
Meaningful Experiences
Personal Growth
Identity Development
Life Skills for Teens
Life Skills for Young Adults
Purpose and Direction
Confidence Building
EPISODE DESCRIPTION
Why do some teens and young adults change after a single meaningful experience while years of advice seem to have little impact?
In this episode, Erin Verdis and Chris Adang share powerful lessons from their wedding week in Puerto Rico and explore how intentional experiences create confidence, connection, purpose, growth, and transformation. They discuss parenting teens and young adults, creating stronger family relationships, helping young people discover who they are, and why environment matters so much in personal development.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
• Experiences often create deeper transformation than advice.
• Environment influences confidence, behavior, and growth.
• Meaningful family experiences strengthen relationships.
• Young adults often thrive when given ownership and purpose.
• Vulnerability creates deeper connection.
• Love, forgiveness, and intentionality help families heal and grow.
• Small moments can create lasting impact.
AI SEARCH TOPICS
Teen Coaching
Young Adult Coaching
Purpose Development
Identity Development
Confidence Building
Family Communication
Parent Coaching
Relationship Growth
Personal Development
Family Experiences
Intentional Living
Extraordinary Purpose
FULL TRANSCRIPT
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Because the environment that we put ourselves in, which we talk about environments all the time, , it can change people.
It can o- Yeah ... it can open people up. It can get people to do things that they don't normally do when they're in their room or at their house, and you're on your phone all the time, or you're working all the time, or in school all the time. All of a sudden you've created this little pocket or this little space where, , you don't have any of those things.
Mm-hmm.
That opens you up to a lot of other possibilities, things that probably are the most important things that there are, which are the people in our lives-  
đź“Ť Welcome to the extraordinary purpose podcast, where we explore some of the truly difficult questions and challenges that parents and their families face every day. Whether it's the sometimes painful process of parenting teens and young adults. Navigating relationships with your partner and children, or you discovering your purpose in relationship with yourself, we will bring heartfelt and vulnerable conversations to the table to support and empower you.
Our mission is to help you create a lifestyle full of love, passion, adventure, and influence. Here we go 
Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Extraordinary Purpose Podcast with the absolutely beautiful and incredible Erin Vertes.
How's it going, sweetheart?
I'm doing great, babe. How are you?
I'm also great, and my name is Chris. We are so happy to have you here. This is our first episode since, since what?
Since the big day, the big week.
The big week. We just got back from getting married-
Woo! ...
in Puerto Rico.
Amazing.
It was an incredible time, everybody.
And so that's gonna be a big topic of today's podcast-
Yeah ...
and today's conversation. Not just sharing about our wedding, though I think there's a lot to share and a lot that, that we're just really happy about, but just what we learned from it.
Mm-hmm.
And how we think that some of those learnings can help all of us in our own situations with our own families and our own relationships, help us move forward.
And so that's why we're here today. We're here to celebrate, and we're here to move forward. Does that sound good?
Sounds amazing. And I just wanna say that Chris and I were just, before we hit record, we sit and we go over our notes. Yeah. We talk about our topic. And I just told him, I'm like, "I'm about to cry-" Aw
because, there's just something to be said about taking time to reflect and- Yeah ... taking time to really,, just really think about an experience that you had. You know, I tell my clients to do this all the time. I just had a lot of my clients graduating from high school or college, and I say, "Take just 20 minutes even- . and reflect." Either have a conversation with your friend or your mom- Mm-hmm ... or write in your journal, but take some time to really think about what came out of that experience and why it was meaningful to you, and what you learned, and how you grew.
There's something about doing that just puts a totally different spin on having these big experiences in our lives.
Well, and I think no matter if it's a big experience or if it's a small experience, it's called an experience for a reason. Mm-hmm. It's something that we're doing that's probably somewhat intentional, and because it's intentional, it serves a purpose, and the purpose is connection.
Mm-hmm.
It's communication. It's, , learning more about ourselves. It's going deeper. It's having fun. It's letting loose. It's just... And for us, I think it really was. It was about bringing people together to celebrate us and celebrate love, and through that process, helping everybody that was a part of it
Yeah.
Influencing and- And influencing ... bringing that sense of connection. And, yeah, so you think Puerto Rico, great place, go party, have fun. Yeah. And it was, it was. Everyone got to let loose. Everyone partied a little. We all had a great time. But it wasn't until Chris and I were just really d- reflecting on all the preparation- Hmm
that we put into creating this experience, to creating this celebration., When you're in the midst of it, it's like we knew we were bringing something special together. But I think until we just sat for the last half hour really talking about it in hindsight, I don't think we recognized just how special of an event and celebration experience we brought-
for
our friends and family, for ourselves, for our kids.
I think it was something that just came out of us, as this podcast is many times, as a lot of our coaching is. It just has to be something that's in you. And so I think that deep down, like, we knew what this wedding really meant, and , we knew what we wanted it to look like.
We had a vision for it. We've had a vision for it for a long, long time. Yeah. , We went to this resort, for all of you who aren't aware, like a year ago, and we walked the same beach, and we saw all the places where we could've gotten married, and we talked to the people, and we vacationed there a year ago.
And during that vacation, we talked about this event. And the first- Yeah .., The first vision, the first idea started to come to life. And I think that the thing that was really important to us, , that we didn't fully appreciate until we were there, and especially now that we're getting a chance to, slow down a little bit, is just the act of bringing people together.
Mm-hmm.
And how important that was to us, - Just because of how busy we all are.
Yeah, and it's the culture and the time that we live in. Everyone is just going, going, going. Yeah. It's so hard to get people to slow down enough to commit to especially a destination wedding. But I also just wanna add on to something you said, babe- Yeah
that, , Puerto Rico is a place where Chris and I have gone several times. Yes, we have. We've taken our kids several times. We've gone together. So it is- ... just a very special place for us. There's just something that calls to us there. Yeah,. And it's just, it feels like a very sacred island to both of us, and we wanted to share that with our friends and our family.
So- Yeah ... and it, it was not ch- , I think a wedding is an exception. Sometimes graduations, sometimes weddings, there are those milestones where people are more willing to take time out of their lives- That's true ... to show up for you, which is incredible. , But, I just wanna talk a little bit about what went into planning this.
, When Chris- Sure ... and I said we knew that we did have a vision, and there was one point last week when I, I said, "We did it, babe." Like- Yeah ... "We, we did it." It just dawned on me. I'm like, we had this vision for such a long time. We knew we wanted to get married in Puerto Rico, like, a few years ago.
Right. But, , we're busy with kids and running a business and a million other things. It took us a long time to get to this point, but we got intentional. We just said we have to make it happen. We picked a date. Um, my birthday is 6/6/76. And I have something about sixes, and so- ... I wanted something similar, so we did 6/16/26.
Yeah.
It was partly why we chose that date, but-
we just decided on it, and we got going. And, the truth is that everything that we put into all of the excursions and,, the adventures that we wanted to bring to everyone was just really everything based on our values- Mm-hmm ... that Chris and I...
We have so many shared values. We have so many individual values. Mm-hmm. The strengths that we have, the passions that we have individually and that we share,, we just wanted to share our love and our authenticity and our vulnerability with the people that are closest to us, and I feel like it was just, we hit it out of the ballpark.
We did.
We really
did. We absolutely did, and I think that the way that you know that you hit it out of the ballpark is that- we put all the hard work into it, and it was a busy scramble to get to the starting line, which was the beginning of the event. And I don't think during that part of the process, that was stressful.
Yeah, very stressful.
Especially for you, 'cause I think that, you put a lot of this on yourself. I was there too, of course, but you did a lot of this, a lot of the work.
Mm-hmm.
And I really appreciate that. But once we get there, all the work's done, and now it's just a matter of, not just following through on the plans, but there's a little bit of a magical component to this too-
Mm-hmm
is where we have to rely on some of the things that we put into creating this experience actually having an effect on people, like having some sort of, - Impact ... deeper impact on people so that not only are they going through the motions, and yes, they, in some ways they had to be there 'cause they're family, friends-
but that they're actually getting something out of this. And Erin, why don't you share with everybody kinda what our welcome letter was all about?
Yeah. So I- it's essentially kinda what we're talking about right now. Yeah. And actually, Chris is the one who wrote it, but it was- Yeah ... just really all about, , we created little gift bags for everyone, and Chris came up with this beautiful welcome letter just to thank everybody- Mm-hmm
obviously for taking the time, and financially, like- Sure ... making that trip happen to come to Puerto Rico to be with us. But we kinda just shared what we just said that, , our values are about, you know- authenticity and vulnerability and connection and purpose, and being intentional, and that we really wanted to bring a sense of that to everything we did throughout the week.
Hmm. And so we just really set people up from the get-go. But, , we had the wedding. We went hiking in the rainforest. Hmm. We went , on a snorkeling excursion to Culebra Island. For those of you familiar with Puerto Rico, it's so stunning there. , , we had meals together. We swam together.
Everybody was able to stay right on the resort, so it was just amazing. And we had just a lot of great conversations, and so that's what we encouraged people to do in that welcome letter, is to just enjoy being there, enjoy being away from their everyday environments, and letting go of everything, all their worries, all their concerns, and have great conversations with each other, watch a sunset or a sunrise, spend some time writing in their journal.
We, , included journals in our gift bags- Mm-hmm ... of course- Hmm ... with some reflection questions, which I think a couple people did, but
That's okay.
And so that's essentially how we set the tone for how we were hoping that we could influence people to enjoy this trip and this experience.
Because the environment that we put ourselves in, which we talk about environments all the time, , it can change people.
It can o- Yeah ... it can open people up. It can get people to do things that they don't normally do when they're in their room or at their house, and you're on your phone all the time, or you're working all the time, or in school all the time. All of a sudden you've created this little, this little pocket or this little space where, , you don't have any of those things.
Mm-hmm.
And all of a sudden that opens you up to a lot of other possibilities, things that probably are the most important things that there are, which are the people in our lives- Yeah ... some of the experiences which Erin just mentioned. But even beyond some of those planned experiences, there were also a lot of these little mini experiences that we witnessed and were a part of.
The example that, I included in my notes, because obviously it's my son, my son Ben. The second that we got on the property, my son Ben, he,, is a budding photographer. Uh, he took a gap year off of school this past year 'cause he wasn't quite... He was struggling with figuring out who he was and what he wanted to do, and, , just some really important questions that he needed to find answers to.
Mm-hmm.
And the good news is for Ben is, taking that gap year made all the difference in the world for him, because the old Ben, by the way, never would've taken this trip And the new Ben is, , taking trips and challenging himself and- He's blowing
us away ...
he's getting his driver's license after, he was, for what are his own reasons, he decided not to for a while.
And now he is in such a different place. And so when I originally, I'm getting a little bit sidetracked, but when I originally asked him to go on this trip, I wasn't even sure if he was gonna go.
Mm-hmm.
And yet here he is not only going, but he's bringing his camera. Actually, he was our, one of our photographers at the wedding.
For the
wedding,
yeah. Which was just such a special, incredible experience to see him there and taking pictures and, just- Being who he's meant to be Yeah Um, and I think enjoying himself. But, when we first got there, , I think the very first morning, , Ben woke up and he went off on his own to take pictures.
All day.
All day. He walked the property. He walked the beach. He was just out, , in this new environment just absolutely loving it. I saw Ben smile more on this trip than I had seen him smile for a long time.
Mm-hmm.
And so that alone, and there's a lot, there's a million other examples, but that alone made it worth the price of admission.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And there's so many other examples of... erin, why don't you talk a little bit about your family in general?
Yeah, definitely. And I just wanna add to that really quick though- Yeah ... is,, it's just a great example when we're thinking about our young adults and our kids, you know, and I know Chris almost got choked up for a second there, is it can be,, hard when you watch your kids struggle.
Yeah. And Ben took a gap year, and he, he did struggle this past year. He was a little depressed and anxious. Sure he was. He felt very, I think he was very isolating himself and- Mm-hmm ... , those times when we just, we get so worried about our kids, but when you can get them in a new environment and, you know- Yeah
get them, um, enjoying some new experiences or at least just being a tiny bit open-minded to a new experience. I think us asking Ben to be our photographer, he felt very, - He felt good ... honored. He felt- And really excited about that ... he was. So that was our way of getting him to come, but getting him in a new environment.
It wasn't just that first day, by the way. Every day he was out- Every day ... taking pictures. He was, socializing with my family, sitting down and having lunch with people. Just very, uh, n- naturally uncharacteristic of Ben, so amazing. And then, yeah, my family, oh, I would have to do a whole nother episode about this, but- That's probably true
my family, and I know everyone can agree- Yeah ... we all go have these ebbs and flows with our family, especially as we get older. But, , we've been a little bit fractured over the last several years as a family. Mm-hmm. Just a lot of growing pains as a family individually- going through some different hard times, all of us, and,, finding our own way and things like that.
And so we did have a, a Christmas gathering up at my mom's where we kinda- Mm-hmm ... brought everyone together. So that was the first time we had all been together, ver- for just a couple days there, , in several years.
Yeah.
And then everyone agreed to come on this trip, and so- There was just something, so much depth, , to my emotions and how I felt about everybody coming together.
Like, I don't even know if I still don't quite have the words for it. I don't think I've processed it all. But just having everybody there to, see me in sort of a new life that I've built for myself over the last, , five or six years since I've been with Chris, and, where my kids are in life today, and what Chris and I have built as a couple and our business- Mm-hmm
um, having everyone there to witness that and hear our vows to each other, um, was just so extraordinary.
Part of what made this environment and this experience so great is, like, there was a lot less phones. I think people were a lot more present.
Mm-hmm.
I hope that our relationship and our love and the way that we chose to celebrate it, you know, even us, , at the wedding, Erin and I, , we did our vows.
Mm-hmm.
And, the vows were... First off, they were long.
Very long.
I think between Erin and I, I think each one averaged 10 to 15 minutes.
I have to go back and actually time them. Was anyone
yawning?
No. I think-- No, but you know what? , I had more to say, , and you probably did, too.
Yeah.
And obviously the vows were for you, babe. It was hard but easy to write. It was hard because I had so much to say and there was so much that I wanted to Let you know, just how much you mean to me and everything that I see in you and why I love you the way that I do and- Mm-hmm
how you help me. , Those were all the big themes of my vows. But I think the, the byproduct of that is the effect that I think that it has on everybody around us.
Mm-hmm.
Love. You know? Yeah. , When you have a really strong relationship, and I would love to believe that Erin and I have a really strong relationship-
So strong
um, is that that can be inspiring. In fact, I know it's inspiring.
Mm-hmm.
You know, we're inspired by other strong couples. Couples that share common values and are aligned and you call them power couples or whatever you wanna call them, but, like, those are the couples that Erin and I look up to.
Mm-hmm.
And that's what we aspire to be. But at the core of it all are, is your love.
Yeah.
And so I just know that our vows, , it had an effect on me and you, but also on everybody who was there.
Yeah, there was a lot of tears, for sure. Yeah. And people that came up to us later and said that it reminded them of this or that or a different experience in their lives, and they- Yeah
even got choked up again, like, later on at, at our dinner reception, so it definitely... And, , that's one of our values that Chris and I share, is that we love to create positive influence on other people. We love creating, just a powerful impact in the world and on the people that are mean the most to us, and we wanna create an impact for everyone in the world.
It's just something we share in common. I think our vows were, yes, they were full of promises, but I think they were even more so about lifting each other up and helping, Chris and I both see in each other the strengths that we see in each other.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Um, and , our gifts and our talents and what we truly authentically love about each other.
And, um, yeah, they were really, really
beautiful. Well, and I think also, Erin, it was a, it's a story. It's a love story.
Yeah.
And who doesn't love a good love story? Man, they bring me to tears. All the time. And, and, and they can change lives.
Yeah.
I didn't say what I wanted to say for that reason, but it's true.
And so that's the other- , really big reason for bringing people together. And, , one of Erin's number one values is just she's extremely vulnerable, you know? And that's something that I think a lot of relationships, I think, struggle with sometimes. Mm-hmm. And whether you're vulnerable with your partner, you're vulnerable with your kids or your family or whoever it is,, we don't often share, , how we really feel or what we really see in each other.
We don't intentionally lift people up on purpose like we did in our vows, yeah. And yet imagine if we did that every single day.
Mm-hmm.
Or if you did that listening every single day. You did that for your kids, you did that for your partner. Um, I know how it makes me feel to hear how much someone loves me or cares, cares about me or what they see in me or why we're together in the first place or, you know- Mm-hmm
the way that we help each other. And so I guess maybe that's the message- Yeah ... is that maybe we take those vows and as a family we start to figure out, like, how do we do that all the time?
Yeah. How do we, you know, we ... One of the rituals that we coach on a lot is heartfelt conversations. Yeah. And as with a lot of things for anyone out there who helps other people- Right
It's easier to preach than practice what you preach. Of course. And you, it's easy to lose sight of- Yeah .. The things that you teach or coach on. Um, but it's truly about, having more of those heartfelt conversations with each other and making sure that you're not sweeping things under the rug and we're not- Yeah
holding back and that's something Chris loves. He's gonna get that tattooed on his arm pretty soon.
I'm ready.
I'm ready. Don't hold yourself back and don't hold back how you really feel about each other and whether it's your family or your kids or your partner.
I think that,, what these experiences can allow for us all to do, and what allowed for Erin and I to do, is to show us and show each other who we really are.
Mm-hmm.
What helped make this moment or this week so special was it was us. It was us. Every single th- part of this was us, from the excursions that we picked to the resort that we picked to the way that we did our wedding and the reception, , to the karaoking that we did at,, at the-
the reception to the songs that we picked, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. , It was us. And so when you... So I'm j- I'm looking at this from our wedding's perspective, but I'm also just thinking about how do you take this and translate it into a little micro moment-
Mm ...
that you can create for you and your family and your kids today or tomorrow?
Yeah.
It's about being authentic. It's about being real. It's about being vulnerable. It's about showing each other who we really are.
Mm-hmm.
And how that alone can make a difference. It's about seeing each other for who they really are. All the positive qualities, all the things that make you love and believe in that person.
You could be talking about your young adult right now, we spend so much time complaining that they're always on their phone and they're always with their friends and they're, they're not doing this and not doing that. Lazy
and unmotivated.
But how helpful is it to have that moment each day where you flip that coin and you remember all the good things?
Mm-hmm.
Or you create an experience where you can connect and talk and come together, and that experience does not need to be a week in Puerto Rico, though we heavily endorse that.
Uh-huh.
Puerto Rico's amazing.
Also I just wanna say too that I think, kind of a little bit back to my family, you know, what that represented to me,, having the friends that came , and our family, It really does come down to one word, and I know this sounds maybe cheesy or cliche, but it's love,
yeah. We always have a choice whether we lean into love, and for me, that represents forgiveness. It represents letting go. Yeah. It represents, letting the past go and being willing to see people in a new light. It represents believing in people's greatness and their, ability to change and transform.
Mm. And for me, all of us coming together th- on this trip, that's what it represented, that we were all this unspoken willingness- Yeah ... to just let it all go, come back to the present moment, be together, forgive- Yeah ... move forward. And I'm so proud of my family, and I hope they're listening to this. I plan to send this episode to all of you.
For all of us and our ability to do that and be together, and it was so real and authentic. There wasn't an ounce that I felt of it being forced or somebody was there against their true will. , Everybody honestly loved being together and having a great time.
Yeah, there were very few arms twisted.
Yeah. That's a good way to put it.
That's a joke.
So we always have this opportunity to lean into- all of that umbrella of love- Yeah ... that I just spoke about or to lean into the darkness, yeah. Which is this inability to forgive or let go, to not believe people are capable of change, to hold grudges, to have resentments, and so many relationships, are lost because of all of that.
Mm. And so I think what Chris and I are most proud of, in a nutshell, is that we brought love to the table, and people really felt it and leaned into it, and it was beautiful.
It completely.
In the, the spirit of love and connection and intention, and really just kind of taking the spirit of this conversation to our own lives, and Erin and I are gonna do this as well, is I think that now it's about figuring out, like, how do we create these experiences, these little mini experiences in our own lives so that we can connect and come together and see each other and spend time together and talk with each other and see each other the way that we need to be seen.
Mm-hmm.
And how that can help us in our relationships. And whether we're talking about our partner, whether we're talking about our kids or our family, doesn't matter what relationships we're talking about, you can be the person to facilitate this. Somebody has to stand up and say, "You know what? I'm gonna be the person that's gonna plan a little hike," or, "I'm gonna be the person that's gonna plan a dinner for our family."
Mm-hmm.
And I'm gonna set the intention that if we're gonna do this dinner, there's not gonna be any phones., There's gonna be a reason why we're all coming together. How does that sound?
Sounds amazing. I know you're probably thinking easier said than done, but it's possible. Yeah. With intention and when you line up with the things that are most important to you, you can create anything.
Exactly. And, like we keep- we always say it's , okay, it sounds like a great idea, sounds easy, except for the one little thing that holds us all back, which is the follow-through.
Mm-hmm.
Or we're afraid of people saying no, or not wanting to do it, or all those negative things, all that resistance.
And all that's true. There will be some resistance. Like, let's make no mistake, there was resistance to us creating our wedding. Mm-hmm. There was, , not that people didn't wanna come, but look, we were afraid that people wouldn't come.
Yeah.
We were afraid that it wouldn't work out the way that we wanted for it to, or that people would find it cheesy or this or that, right?
But you just, as Erin s- used that word, lean in.
Yeah.
Just lean into this. Give it a try. Remember that a lot of that resistance is completely normal, but once you create an experience that gets people into the moment, gets them off their devices, out of their houses, out of their rooms, away from their day-to-day life.
And so you can start to brainstorm, like what are some of those little experiences that I can create where those things are not present? We're present, but phones and all that, they're not present. They're not part of this. That's part of the, that's part of the requirements. And then you make it happen.
Okay? You just make it happen, knowing that this is gonna be one of those moments or one of those environments that's gonna bring people together.
Yeah.
And so that's our challenge. That's our opportunity. That's the spirit of this conversation today. And we hope you all take it, run with it, have fun with it, connect, love, inspire, and see what happens.
I love it. I hope we've inspired you today, and that's what we lean into every time we get on here to record with you guys, is to just create an experience of- That's right ... of love and influence and connection. So we love you guys so much. Thank you for- Thank you, guys ... tuning in to this podcast, and we will see you guys next week.
See you
next time.
All right. Take care, guys.
Bye-bye.
  📍 We are so thankful for you and your beautiful family and hope you found something inside today's episode that brought you hope inspiration, and most importantly, a path forward. If you're interested in evolving your relationship, giving your kids the most important gift of personal growth and development, or are a mom looking to reconnect with your confidence and become empowered in all areas of your life.
Then schedule a discovery call with us today. Our mission is to help as many families as possible, find their purpose. And that starts with you. See you in the next episode, my friends.
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