HOW TO HELP YOUR TEEN OR YOUNG ADULT BUILD HEALTHY HABITS THAT LAST
Extraordinary Purpose | Parenting Teens & Young Adults Hosts: Erin
Verdis and Chris Adang Episode transcript | November 2026
EPISODE OVERVIEW Erin and Chris explore how parents, teens, and young
adults can build healthy habits through self-discovery, small consistent
steps, and a personalized toolkit for energy, motivation, focus,
presence, and follow-through.
TOPICS COVERED Healthy habits for teens and young adults; motivation and
self-discipline; identity and values; morning routines; planning and
focus blocks; overcoming resistance and negative self-talk; presence and
emotional well-being; parents modeling healthy habits.
TRANSCRIPT This is a lightly edited transcript for readability. Section
headings are editorial; the dialogue retains the substance of the
original recording. Speaker labels and timestamps have not been added
where they could not be reliably verified.
it’s not the big sweeping transformations, it’s not these overnight
changes that we tend to think about, in personal growth, or we see other
people from the outside looking in and think that they just made this
big change overnight.
It’s the small, consistent steps that you take every single day, and
you’re gonna face resistance. We’re gonna fall off track. We’re not
gonna feel good. We’re not gonna feel like it.
it’s really, it’s cultivating this toolkit, it’s building up these
strategies that you put in this toolkit that you can open up when you
need to.
PODCAST INTRODUCTION
Welcome to the extraordinary purpose podcast, where we explore some of
the truly difficult questions and challenges that parents and their
families face every day. Whether it’s the sometimes painful process of
parenting teens and young adults. Navigating relationships with your
partner and children, or you discovering your purpose in relationship
with yourself, we will bring heartfelt and vulnerable conversations to
the table to support and empower you.
Our mission is to help you create a lifestyle full of love, passion,
adventure, and influence. Here we go
WHY HEALTHY HABITS MATTER FOR TEENS, YOUNG ADULTS, AND PARENTS
Hey there, and welcome back to the Extraordinary Purpose podcast with
Erin and Chris. I’m, of course, Chris, and as always, with me is the
absolutely strong and independent Verdis. Why
going on, honey?
Oh, not much. How you feeling today, babe?
I’m okay. Chris and I are both a little under the weather, but we are
showing up anyway, doing the thing, bringing this amazing episode to you
guys, not letting that get in our way
Yeah, it’s something that we talk about this with our clients every day,
which is you’re not always gonna feel like it, and whether that’s
physically or mentally.
case, it’s primarily physically because we truly do enjoy having these
conversations with you. And of conversations, babe, today’s topic is…
It truly is one of the most important ones out there
today is all about helping young adults and us parents build the
foundation for everything else that’s gonna come for us. Our goals and
our future and all the things that we wanna do and be, it’s all based on
this foundation and this lifestyle that we’re gonna create for ourselves
Yeah, because the truth is you could have all the goals in the world,
you could have the most incredible goals, you can have a vision for your
future and your life and know what kind of lifestyle you want. You can,
have all those things.
But if you don’t have those daily habits and rituals to follow through,
the goals don’t matter, the vision won’t come to life. You really need
to know what you need when you fall off track, when you need to be more
motivated, more disciplined, when you need to feel better physically,
mentally, emotionally.
And that’s what we’re gonna talk about today is how do we build those
daily habits and create a lifestyle out of that?
Right, Erin, because, and this is for all of us parents out there, is
that I think a lot of our kids, a lot of our young adults, and us
parents even, we know what we want. We know what some of our goals are,
some of our aspirations, you know, some of those things that we want to
accomplish because we know it could literally change our lives or change
their lives.
We know what those things are. And when we’re first talking to somebody,
man, when they first start opening up, you see that light go on, and
they get excited. But then what happens is, is right as they get off of
that call, they get back into their normal environment, and all of this
stuff, know, kinda keeps them stuck, Keeps them feeling lousy, keeps
them right where they are for so many different reasons. Low energy, low
motivation, just the inability to follow through on things. And so what
Erin and I are talking about is this foundation, this lifestyle, all the
things that we need in any given moment to keep ourselves feeling good
keep ourselves moving forward. truly, this is the essence of what makes
everything possible and why we’re here today having this conversation.
SMALL, CONSISTENT STEPS: PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION
Yeah, because it really is, and I, Chris and I both talk about this a
lot with our clients, is that it’s not the big sweeping transformations,
it’s not these overnight changes that we tend to think about, in
personal growth, or we see other people from the outside looking in and
think that they just made this big change overnight.
It’s the small, consistent steps that you take every single day, and
you’re gonna face resistance. We’re gonna fall off track. We’re not
gonna feel good. We’re not gonna feel like it.
it’s really, it’s cultivating this toolkit, it’s building up these
strategies that you put in this toolkit that you can open up when you
need to.
Something, that I do every morning in the car, this is just to give you
an example, I get in the car, I get up early. My daughter’s usually a
little bit crabby right before we walk out the door, and then she puts
her headphones in ’cause that’s partly one of her rituals. That’s one of
her habits, is putting her music in her ears just for a little bit.
Helps to get her in her own zone. I turn on, something motivational,
some kind of a podcast or an audiobook or something that just gets me in
the right mindset. And about halfway to school, we both turn things off,
and we’re able to have a quick chat before I drop her off. And those are
some habits that we have built into our, kind of our morning commute.
So that’s just an example of how you pick yourself up, you know, and,
and you have those habits in place, and you know yourself well enough to
know what it is you need.
And, and so before we even get into kind of putting the pieces together
here, think that one of the most important things for all of us to
remember and why a lot of us stay stuck is because we’re expecting us to
be perfect., We, we start doing some of these things, we start
exercising, we start a habit, and then it doesn’t go quite according to
plan or we miss a day or two. so I want for all of us just to kinda get
into this frame of mind that we’re never, ever, ever gonna be perfect,
and that is absolutely great. That’s actually more than great. That’s
the way this goes, okay? philosophy is, is that every day is this
opportunity to try a lot of these things, learn from those different
habits and things that you’re experimenting with, then ultimately
continuing to grow by making adjustments, meaning that we don’t want
each day to feel like Groundhog Day. And I think that most parents, we
can probably relate to that and say that most days feel like Groundhog
way. You do things a certain way. You’re not quite getting the results
that you want, and you’re frustrated, you’re angry, you’re overwhelmed
as a result of all of that. Well, this is how you start to create some
of those adjustments so that each day is not like Groundhog Day. gonna
help you get the motivation, help you find the energy, help you have the
discipline to create some of that change that can completely alter the
course of your life
BUILD HABITS AROUND YOUR IDENTITY, VALUES, AND GOALS
I love that. So how do we get started with this, you might be thinking,
“This sounds amazing. I wanna put some habits in place for myself so I
can model something great for my kids. How do my, you know, how do my
young adults start to do this?” And the truth is, in order to be
successful and actually follow through with these habits that we’re
talking about, they need to be aligned
and what does that mean? They have to be aligned with who you truly are.
We’re all so unique and different. We all have different things that
we’re passionate about. We all have different values. We all have
different things that work for us, what works for me to put me in the
zone I need to be in sometimes does not work for Chris.
He’s got his own things that work for him, going to the gym is Chris’
thing. It’s my thing, too, but, like, it works differently for us. And
so the first thing you have to know is who you are and what’s gonna work
for you. So understanding your values, understanding the goals that
you’re after.
Taking some inventory of yourself and your life. Knowing what you’re
interested in, what you’re passionate about. When you start to get some
clarity on those things, then you can start to ask yourself, “Okay,
what, what habits are in alignment with that?” Is it going to the gym?
Is it getting out in nature for a walk
is it listening to a meditation? Is it listening to, a metal band in the
morning ’cause you have to get yourself motivated? Like, we all have
different tastes and interests and passions and curiosities
I think what comes to mind is just that by finding these tools, finding
these habits that are gonna help you move forward and become the best
version of yourself and feel the way that you wanna feel, is a big part
of your identity. This is what’s gonna help you show up and get better
results and be able to do all the things that we wanna do. I think a, a
companion to this too in terms of knowing yourself is just not knowing
your future, your goals, and your values. It’s understanding that a big
reason that we’re stuck is actually because of these goals and because
of these values and our interests and things like that.
And so part of knowing ourselves is also getting very curious and
holding up a mirror and seeing our challenges, seeing our resistance,
seeing all that crap that’s holding us back. And trust me, all of us,
have stuff that’s holding us back every single day, every single step
that we try to take.
There is something that’s trying to pull us away, hold us back, keep us
in place, us not feel the way we need to feel. And f- I know for me,
that’s a lot of self-talk
if I stop too long and I get in my thoughts and I start to overthink
things, guess what happens? Nothing.
so that’s what we’re trying to avoid by identifying not just our goals
and our future and our values and things that we wanna do, but also
understanding, what are the challenges and things holding me back so
that I literally have a tool in my tool chest to help me navigate all of
these things, how to help me keep moving forward in any given situation
Yeah, and you know, something else that I use in my coaching a lot is I
tell the girls I work with, “Just expect it. Just expect the challenges.
Expect the resistance. Expect to not feel up for it. Expect to not wanna
follow through,” the more that we can just, make that assumption it’s
gonna be there instead of having our heads in the clouds and thinking,
“Oh, I got this.
I’m gonna, you know, I’m, I’m absolutely gonna follow through,” you
probably won’t feel like it. It’s just part of the human experience, and
that’s okay. So the more we can expect those things, then we can really
have things in place. You know, that’s self-awareness. That’s
mindfulness. That’s when you get to know yourself and your patterns and
what holds you back and what is challenging for you.
Because again, what’s challenging for you, what holds you back is gonna
be different than what holds me or Chris back and is challenging for us.
And so, we talked several episodes ago about, right, getting ready for
the new year, and not waiting till January 1st to create some of these
goals and resolutions and things you, transformations you might wanna
make in your life, and this is another incredible way.
You know, we’re just in, what, the second week of November. You start
understanding yourself now. You start preparing yourself for some of
those things that you want to take off in the new year. Expect it.
You’re gonna wanna give up after a few weeks. It’s gonna be hard. But
when you have these habits in place, and you start, you know, really
curating your own toolkit, you’re gonna be 10 times more likely to
follow through.
And so Babe, why don’t we talk a little bit… We have, Chris and I broke
this down into some, several different areas of our lives, and we’re
gonna give you some examples., So Babe, why don’t you choose one or two
of your favorite areas of what we came up with, and I’ll do the same?
boy.. So yeah, the, the idea here everybody, is that what truly is gonna
help us get unstuck and move forward is knowing in any given moment,
that, we have this toolkit that’s either around our waist or we have it
in our hands, it’s inside of us, it’s just ready to be accessed in any
given moment depending on what we need. so what we need is really
important because I think a lot of times as we’ve been talking about,
you have these big goals, like for the new year, for example, “I want to
accomplish this in the first couple of months of the new year.” Great.
How are you gonna do that? And the how is not just having the plan, but
it’s knowing how am I actually gonna get myself to take some of those
steps to execute that plan. So it’s kind of the plan before the plan,
and
really starts to come into play. But having a toolkit, in my opinion,
gives you all the confidence in the world because it’s our way of
preparing ourselves. And remember that word that we used the very
beginning of this conversation, this is your foundation. We’re gonna
build this beautiful house. It’s gonna be the most incredible looking
house ever, but you can’t build that incredible house with all these
rooms and all these features, without the foundation being, you know,
the most solid foundation in the world. And so that’s what we’re
building.
And so I’m gonna go with the, the softball first in terms of what’s in
my toolkit. So for me I need to start my day a certain way. order for
there to be any chance of my day being productive, for me to get the
things done that I need to get done, in order for me to feel good, to
become the version of myself that I need to be to coach, to be on this
podcast, to, uh, do all the things that I do, be a father, to be a
husband, it’s, it all comes down to what are the first couple of things
that I do in the morning? So for me, this is about energy and physical
wellbeing. All right? And my tool that’s in my toolkit for energy and
physical wellbeing is going to the gym. Now, that’s my tool. All right?
So you can start to think about that same category. So what do I need
for energy and physical wellbeing?
Maybe it’s taking more walks each day, maybe it’s hiking, maybe it’s
yoga, maybe it’s meditation., It could be a lot of different exercising,
right? What do you need in order to give yourself energy and physical
wellbeing? But for me, it’s spending an hour in the morning, lifting
heavy weights, challenging myself, pushing myself, you know, pushing
myself to the li- I sound insane when I talk about working out. But I
enjoy that because it gets me physically ready for the day. And
something that I talk a lot about with the young adults is it helps me
get mentally ready for the day as well.
if I’m overwhelmed, I’m nervous, I’m anxious about the day ahead, which
by the way, I think most of us are ’cause you’re just getting up, and
you’re worried, and there’s a lot to do, and is it gonna happen the way
that you want for it to happen?
Am I ready for it to happen? And you need a way to calm down your
thoughts. And this is part of your wellbeing, is what are you doing in
the morning to get yourself not just physically ready, but also mentally
ready? So for me, Erin, that’s obviously the gym and working out
MOTIVATION, DISCIPLINE, PLANNING, AND FOLLOW-THROUGH
I love that. And so another area that has really been on my heart
lately, and something that I’ve been working on, and I’m sure a lot of
you listening are gonna be like, “Yep, I can definitely relate to that,”
is, motivation, discipline, follow through, right? And so really knowing
what you need to build momentum to do hard things, not avoid ’em, not
say, “I’ll do it later,” but to really dive into doing those hard
things, and really keeping commitments to yourself.
And, you know, that’s something that I’ve been struggling with, and so
I’ve been really focused on that., And so something that I’ve been
working on is really creating focus blocks for myself, like really
having my days mapped out the night before. And something that’s been
helping me with that a lot, honestly, is using my ChatGPT, like having
chat help me figure out how to map out my week a little bit, feeding it
everything that I’m focused on for the week, all my goals, all my
to-dos.
And I do, work, family and home, you know, my creative projects, my
spiritual foundation. I have different buckets that I use., And so
that’s something that’s in my toolkit,? That, those are some habits that
I’ve been leaning into. Now, remember, Chris said this when we first got
started. We’re not gonna be perfect at this.
You know, even though I do all of this, I’ll have a few hours here and
there throughout different days where I’ve totally fall off the horse. I
fall off track. You know, I get in my head. There’s a lot of negative
self-talk. I’m not getting things done. And, you know, then I’ll do
thing… I’ll go for a walk.
I’ll listen to… I’ve talked about this app I love. These activations are
kind of like these mini pep talks and motivational talks, and I’ll put
one of those in my ears and go for a walk and get myself back on track..
So you start to think about as you’re listening to this, what, what can
you do?
When you’re thinking if that’s an area of your life that you wanna hone
in on, motivation, discipline, follow through, what are some things,
some tools? ’Cause again, what’s working for me isn’t necessarily gonna
work for you. What are some of those tools and habits and rituals that
you can put in place?
PRESENCE, STRESS, AND STAYING GROUNDED
I think another one for me, babe, is, and this is especially, I think,
relevant now more than ever before. and it’s come from all the coaching
and all the conversations that we have with parents and young adults,
but it’s helped me see it as a challenge in myself, which is presence.
And make no mistake, presence needs to be a habit. has to be something
that you’re intentional about every single day because all distracted,
we’re all distracted by our phones. We’re distracted by the noise, and
the chaos, and our own thoughts. And Erin and I, I’m no exception, to be
very honest and vulnerable with you. And when we’re like that, when I’m
like that, I don’t feel the way that I need to feel.
I feel very unsettled, I’m not who I need to be to do the things that I
know I’m capable of doing and achieving. so our true power, my true
power comes from presence There’s a couple of tools in my toolkit, for
presence I think number one, it’s going for a walk. So we talked a
little bit about the fact that I go to the gym, and that’s, that’s its
own thing. That’s more about my morning routine. But going for a walk is
about calm, about grounding myself, it’s about resetting. Erin and I
knows… And we have a little bit of an excuse for going for a walk, but
there really doesn’t need to be an excuse.
Our dog, Koa, insists on taking, you know, five, six, 20 walks a day.,
And so we get the benefit of getting out with him a lot.
He’s so spoiled.
He’s very spoiled, but it’s good for us, too.
I really do. It’s one of these things, I always describe this to the
people that we’re talking to, Erin, where it’s like, know, we do get
anxious, and we do get stressed, and we do get in our heads, and so
therefore we’re not present.
And so therefore you keep your phone back, you go out for a walk with
Koa, or if you have a dog, or if you don’t have a dog, you just go out
for a walk. I promise you, by the time that you’re out for 10 or 15
minutes and you come back through that door
different. Guaranteed. You’re gonna feel better, you’re gonna feel
different. More importantly, you’re gonna feel more grounded. And then I
can go into my next focus block or the next thing that I wanna do or the
next conversation and just feel more prepared. And so that’s a big one.
And then back to when you were talking about motivation, ’cause I think
a lot of people say, “Well, I’m not motivated.
I don’t feel the way I wanna feel
that way pretty, pretty much constant throughout the day.” are things,
if you really stop right now and you think about, “What are some things
that make me feel good, really touch my soul, that touch my spirit, that
light me up, that put a smile on my face?” And remember, this is gonna
be different for everybody, but I know for me, it’s, it’s music. And
Erin can attest that if you see me working, I have some sort of
cinematic soundtrack playing in the background. Now, yes, I enjoy that
style of music, but I specifically only listen to that style of music
when I’m working.
And why is that? Because it inspires me. touches a part of me that, I
don’t know, ignites my creativity and helps me focus and helps me bring
out my best. Maybe it’s like me getting up on stage, like I just need
this soundtrack playing as I do something important. so most of the time
throughout the day, with the very rare exception, I have some sort of
inspirational music playing, and that’s my thing.
IDENTIFY WHAT HELPS YOU FEEL YOUR BEST
All we need to do, parents, is sit down for five minutes, get out a pen
and paper, and literally write down a list of all the things that light
you up, that help you feel good, that give you energy, that g- help you
get more motivated, that help you stay grounded, help you become more
present.
All the things that Erin and I have talked about so far
REFLECTION AND SELF-AWARENESS
Yeah, and I think something you can do even before we get to that part
is when you get that notebook out and that pen is to think about, you
know, what are some areas of my life that keep me stuck? That are
challenging for me, that where I find a lot of resistance to get to the
next level or reach the goal I’m after.
Whether it’s personal or having a healthier connection with your, with
your teen or young adult, you know, having more time, more of that,
like, heartfelt time with your partner, whatever that looks like. Get
clear on where you want to grow. What are some things that you want to
overcome?
Where are some of your greatest challenges? And then you kind of back
into it with, okay, what are some of these habits and rituals that I can
start putting into place for those exact areas of my life where I’m
really struggling?, Another one that we wrote down here that I love is,
you know, reflection and self-awareness.
And that’s actually what I just spoke to, right? Taking that time to
pause and reflect and think about being… Taking inventory is really what
I call it when I’m, when I’m coaching the girls I coach, is slowing down
and taking inventory and being really honest with yourself. You know,
where do I struggle?
What are my greatest challenges? What could I use to overcome?, And
then, you know, you get reflective. You ask yourself, “What works for
me? What’s gonna be best for me in those areas of my life where I can
pull that tool out of my toolkit and actually, you know, implement
something that can help me get unstuck or help me overcome the
challenge?”
And so, I’ve, I’ve spoke a lot about meditation on this podcast. That’s
a big one for me. I start my day every morning with, meditation and just
kind of getting intentional about how I want to start my day, what kind
of energy I want, and that just helps set me up, and it starts my day
with reflection and, and self-awareness.
That’s really what you want to be doing this week is really getting
clear, and then choosing one, just choosing one habit over this next
week that you really want to hone in on, that you want to reflect on,
that you want to bring to life and implement into your week. So we’re
not gonna do a whole toolkit this week.
It doesn’t have to be anything huge. Remember, it’s progress. It’s not
about perfection. And parents, you go first, as always. You know, you
start modeling this more. Your kids are gonna pick up on it, whether
they live at home or you just happen to do FaceTime, and you text and
call them from college or, you know, the, the life they have somewhere
else.
Talking about what you’re up to, you will start to show up differently.
When you implement these habits and rituals into your life, you start
overcoming some of these challenges. You’re gonna shift. Your energy’s
gonna shift. Your family’s gonna recognize it. They’re gonna pick up on
it. And then, a- as always, w- ways that you can help your own kids get
in touch with this is helping th- helping them get more curious by you
getting curious, asking them questions.
You know, asking them, “By the way, like, what do you do when you know,
you have a test coming up and you’re really having a hard time studying.
I’m just curious what are some things that you put in place ’cause I’m
working on some of these things in my own life. I’m just curious what
you do. There’s a way you can just kind of open up that conversation to
get them thinking, interesting, what do I do?
START WITH ONE SMALL HABIT THIS WEEK
We, we talk so much about just this idea of taking one small step
because, you know, accomplishing that big goal or creating all this
change, it can feel a bit overwhelming.
But the truth is, is that all it takes is just that first small step,
that first small habit, and that’s all it needs to be. It doesn’t need
to be anything that seems life-changing on the surface. But the truth
is, is if you implement, one of these things, can change the course of
your day. You know, if you do one more thing each day because of that
habit, because it helps you feel better or become more confident or more
grounded or more motivated or more disciplined, that leads to you doing
some other things, you can see how this starts to create momentum just
by taking that first step.
is the, the spirit of this. It doesn’t need to be this, you know,
overhaul or we’re gonna recreate your entire life. No, you’re doing it
one small step at a time, one
And
at a time
These little steps quickly become your lifestyle you start to cultivate
a lifestyle around these habits and these rituals over time, and they
just become this automatic part of how you show up in your life, how you
face challenges, how you overcome resistance, how you, you know, the
conversations you have with your kids and your partner.
And so that’s what this is about, not, not perfection, progress, one
small step. So just choose one habit this week. Get that pen and paper
out. Write down some areas of your life where you feel like you’re
struggling a lot, where you’re having a lot of challenges, where you’re
facing yourself, ’cause let’s face it, it really never is our
circumstances.
It really never is another person. As hard as that is to swallow
sometimes, it’s your inner conflict with yourself in one way or another.
So be honest with yourself. Take some inventory. Choose one or two areas
of your life that you’d really like to focus in on, and then back into
that by thinking honestly, “Who am I?
What’s important to me? What are some things that I know would work for
me?” And start implementing one or two habits this week
COACHING SUPPORT AND CLOSING THOUGHTS
And if you wanna take this to the next level, which we all do, don’t we?
then you’re more than welcome to schedule a discovery call with Erin and
myself, and we’ll help you build that toolkit. We’ll help you get clear
on your goals and your challenges, and figure out exactly what that
toolkit needs to look like, and the things that you need to implement
into your life today that will change the course of your days, and help
you feel better and more confident and, more productive and more
disciplined.
All the things that we talked about today
Yeah, start to really shine a light on what’s coming up in this new year
ahead. I’m so excited. I already… I get so excited for this, like,
collective new energy. So we’ll be talking about the new year coming up
a lot over the next several weeks.
Yes, we
listen, guys, have an amazing week. We love you so much, and we’ll see
you in the next episode.
you. Take care. Have a good
Bye
PODCAST OUTRO
we are so thankful for you and your beautiful family and hope you found
something inside today’s episode that brought you hope inspiration, and
most importantly, a path forward. If you’re interested in evolving your
relationship, giving your kids the most important gift of personal
growth and development, or are a mom looking to reconnect with your
confidence and become empowered in all areas of your life.
Then schedule a discovery call with us today. Our mission is to help as
many families as possible, find their purpose. And that starts with you.
See you in the next episode, my friends.
ABOUT EXTRAORDINARY PURPOSE Extraordinary Purpose offers life coaching
for teens, young adults, college students, and parents, in Ann Arbor and
online. Website: https://myextraordinarypurpose.com
