At some point, almost every parent feels it.

The shift.

The eye rolls.
The distance.
The silence where conversation used to be easy.

Suddenly your child isn’t the little kid who needed you for everything anymore. They’re becoming a teenager… and then a young adult… with their own opinions, independence, and direction.

And many parents quietly wonder:

“Why does parenting suddenly feel so much harder?”

After years of coaching teens, young adults, and their parents — and raising four teenagers ourselves — we’ve discovered something most parenting advice misses.

Your relationship with your child isn’t breaking.

It’s evolving.

And if you want your relationship with your teen or young adult to grow stronger through this stage…

You have to evolve too.

This is exactly what we explored in our newest episode of the
👉 Extraordinary Purpose Podcast

Key Takeaways

• Parenting teens and young adults requires parents to evolve too

• Control often creates distance, while connection builds trust

• Reconnecting with yourself changes the energy in your family

• Creating a healthy family culture improves communication and relationships

• Parent coaching can help families move from tension to connection

The Parenting Transition Nobody Talks About

There is a transition that happens when kids move from childhood into adolescence and adulthood.

And most parents are never prepared for it.

When kids are little, parenting feels clear.

You guide.
You protect.
You teach.
You make most of the decisions.

But when your child becomes a teen or young adult, everything shifts.

Suddenly they are:

• forming their own opinions

• challenging your ideas

• creating independence

• trying to discover who they are

And many parents experience something deeper than frustration.

It’s actually a grieving process.

You are letting go of the little child you once knew — and learning to connect with a new version of them.

This stage of parenting teens and young adults can feel confusing and emotional.

But it also creates an incredible opportunity.

The Big Reframe: You Don’t Fix Your Young Adult — You Evolve Yourself

When parents feel worried about their teen or young adult, the natural instinct is to try to fix the problem.

Parents often try to:

• control outcomes

• push their child harder

• lecture more

• rescue them from mistakes

• over-manage their life

And it usually comes from love.

But those approaches often create more distance instead of more connection.

The truth is:

The fastest way to improve your relationship with your young adult is not by controlling them.

It’s by evolving yourself.

That shift alone can completely change the dynamic inside your family.

This philosophy is the foundation of our
👉 Extraordinary Parent Coaching Program

The Three Pillars of Evolving Your Relationship With Your Teen or Young Adult

After years of coaching families, we’ve discovered three powerful shifts that help parents navigate this stage.

Pillar 1: Reconnect With Yourself First

One of the biggest challenges parents face during the teen and young adult years is something that happens quietly over time.

They lose themselves.

Years of parenting, supporting their children’s dreams, managing work, and running a household can make parents forget something important:

They are individuals too.

They have their own passions, goals, interests, and dreams.

But when we ask parents questions like:

• What excites you right now?

• What are you passionate about?

• What goals are you excited to pursue?

Many parents pause and say:

“I honestly don’t know.”

This is why the first step toward improving your relationship with your young adult is reconnecting with yourself.

When parents begin to:

• rediscover their passions

• reconnect with their identity

• focus on their own growth

• create new vision for their lives

Something powerful happens.

Their energy shifts.

And when your energy shifts…

Your kids feel it immediately.

Pillar 2: Change the Environment — Not the Control

Most parenting advice focuses on controlling behavior.

But growth doesn’t happen through pressure.

It happens through environment.

When parents become more intentional about how they show up, the family dynamic begins to change.

Instead of tension and correction, the relationship begins to include more:

• curiosity

• openness

• trust

• connection

• collaboration

Many parents also realize that while they are evolving their own approach, their child may benefit from additional support as well. For families navigating these challenges, our life coaching for teens helps teenagers develop confidence, direction, and stronger communication skills so they can begin taking more ownership of their future.

One powerful tool we teach parents is something simple:

The pause and check-in.

Before reacting to a situation with your teen or young adult, pause and ask:

• What energy am I bringing into this moment?

• How do I want to show up right now?

• What would the best version of myself do here?

That small shift changes everything.

Pillar 3: Create a Family Culture That Inspires Growth

As kids grow older, family life naturally changes.

Schedules get busier.
Everyone has their own priorities.
Distractions increase.

Without intention, families can slowly drift apart.

That’s why creating a strong family culture becomes so important.

Family culture simply means intentionally creating an environment that supports connection and growth.

Examples include:

• weekly family conversations

• shared goals and vision

• celebrating wins together

• gratitude and reflection

• intentional communication

One of our favorite rituals is the evening check-in.

At the end of the day, family members share:

• one win from the day
• something they learned
• something they’re grateful for

These simple rituals create powerful emotional connection over time.

As Parents of Four Teens, We Understand This Stage Personally

This topic is personal for us.

We are not only coaching parents through these challenges every day — we are also living it ourselves.

We are the parents of four teenagers.

We understand the worries parents feel about their children’s future.
We understand the frustration when communication breaks down.
And we understand how deeply parents want to stay connected with their kids.

Our coaching approach isn’t based only on theory.

It’s built from real experience coaching families and raising our own children at the same time.

What Parents Actually Want

After thousands of coaching conversations with parents, the answer is almost always the same.

Parents don’t just want their kids to succeed.

They want something deeper.

They want to:

• laugh together again

• enjoy time together

• have meaningful conversations

• feel connected to their kids as adults

They want to go to dinner together.

Play games together.

Talk about life.

And feel proud of the relationship they’ve built.

This is the transformation we help families create through our
👉 parent coaching for teens and young adults

In many cases, parents also discover that their young adult needs guidance navigating confidence, career direction, and independence. That’s why we often work with families through both our parent program and our life coaching for young adults, helping young adults build clarity, structure, and momentum in their lives.

Why Our Parent Coaching Program Is Different

Most parenting programs focus on strategies to manage children.

Our approach is different.

We focus on helping parents evolve first.

Because when parents grow, families grow.

Inside our program we help parents:

• reconnect with themselves

• improve communication with their teen or young adult

• build stronger relationships

• create a healthier family culture

• reduce tension and increase connection

Our coaching approach also includes something unique.

Erin works directly with moms and young women.
Chris works directly with dads and young men.

Couples can also participate together, which helps strengthen both the parenting relationship and the family environment.

Imagine Your Relationship One Year From Now

Take a moment and imagine something.

Imagine your relationship with your teen or young adult one year from now.

What would you love it to look like?

Maybe it includes:

• more trust

• deeper conversations

• less tension

• more laughter

• stronger connection

Maybe you feel more confident as a parent.

Maybe your young adult actually comes to you for advice again.

That future is possible.

But it doesn’t begin by trying to control them.

It begins by evolving yourself.

Listen to the Full Podcast Episode

If this message resonates with you, we invite you to listen to the full conversation.

🎧 Listen here
👉Extraordinary Purpose Podcast: Parenting Teens and Young Adults

Ready to Evolve Your Relationship With Your Teen or Young Adult?

If you feel stuck, frustrated, or unsure how to reconnect with your child during this stage of life…

You are not alone.

And you don’t have to figure it out alone either.

Learn more about our program here:

👉 Extraordinary Parent Coaching Program

Or schedule a conversation with us here:

👉 Schedule a Discovery Call

Sometimes one conversation can change everything.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I improve my relationship with my young adult child?

Improving your relationship with your young adult often begins by shifting from control to connection. When parents focus on communication, curiosity, emotional awareness, and creating a healthier environment, relationships often improve naturally over time.

Why is parenting teens and young adults so challenging?

This stage is difficult because the relationship is changing. Teens and young adults are becoming independent and forming their own identities. Parents must evolve their role from manager to mentor and guide.

How do I motivate my young adult without pushing them away?

Young adults respond better to influence than pressure. When parents reduce lectures and increase curiosity, trust, and open conversation, motivation often grows naturally.

What is parent coaching for teens and young adults?

Parent coaching helps parents strengthen communication, improve relationships, and navigate challenges with their teen or young adult while also helping parents reconnect with themselves.

About Extraordinary Purpose

Erin Verdis and Chris Adang are life coaches for teens, young adults, and parents and the founders of Extraordinary Purpose. As parents of four teens themselves, they combine real-life parenting experience with years of coaching families to help build confidence, purpose, and stronger relationships.